The Differences Between Woman and Man
The
differences between woman and man! What an absurd idea! In spite of our
living in the second half of the twentieth century, there are still
people here and there, who think as if they were in the Middle Ages, and
maintain old and out-of- date ideas of differences between women and
men, and think that men and women are not the same as each other. No
doubt they wish to infer, like the men of middle ages, that woman is an
inferior sex; that woman is not full human being; that woman is the link
between animals and mankind. They think a woman does not have the
ability or the esteem to live an independent and free life, and that she
is obliged to live under the patronage and guardianship of man.
Anyhow,
ideas like these are now obsolete and out-of-date. Now it is
established that all those idle speculations were quite fictitious, and
that, in the period of their domination over women, men had vigorously
supported these arguments, while the true position was really just the
reverse. Woman, as a matter of fact, is the superior sex and man is the
inferior and imperfect sex.
But
no in the twentieth century, due to the astonishing progress of
science, the differences between men and women have become clearer and
more well-defined. There is no idle speculation or fiction, in these
hard facts. These are scientific and experimental realities.
Nonetheless, these differences have in no way any bearing on the
question as to whether woman or man is or is not the superior sex, the
other sex being lower inferior or imperfect.
The
law of creation brought these differences into being in order to make
the relationship of a man and a woman within the family more firm, and
the foundation of their unity more secure. The law of creation planned
these differences so as to allocate with its own hands the rights and
duties of women and men. The law of creation has laid down these
differences in men and women with a purpose, just like the purpose that
is found in the differentiation of the functions of the different organs
within a single body.
If
the law of creation has designed every organ, the eyes, the ears, the
legs, the hands and the spine in a particular form, it is not because it
has given a preference to two eyes, for example, and has unduly
discriminated in their favour, showing cruelty to one part as compared
with another.
Is it a question of symmetry or one of imperfection and perfection?
One
of the things which surprise me is that some people insist that the
difference between men and women in their physical and psychological
make-up should be depicted as women being imperfect and man being
comparatively perfect. This would show that the law of creation had some
ulterior motive in creating woman an imperfect being. The idea that a
woman is an imperfect creature arose among the people of the west before
it did among us easterners. Men of the west were quite unjust in their
jeering at women and in calling her imperfect. Sometimes they claimed to
be representing the church and remarked, ‘A woman should be ashamed of
being a woman’. Sometimes they said Woman is a being who has long hair
and is short of understanding’. ‘A woman is the last of all savage
beasts that man has tamed.’ ‘A woman is the last link between animals
and human beings,’ and so on.
More
surprising than this is that a section of the people to the west have
recently done a complete volte-face, and now want to prove by one
thousand and one different arguments that man is an imperfect, inferior
and humble being, and that woman is perfect and superior sex.
If you, my dignified reader, had gone through the book The Natural Superiority of women written by Ashley Montague, which was serialized in Zan-e ruz,
you would have seen how strenuously and with what shower of nonsensical
talk the author wanted to prove that woman is more perfect than man.
That book, in so far as it presents the results of the discoveries of
medicine, psychology or social statistics is very valuable, but when the
writer himself proceeds to draw “inferences” and wants to deduce
conclusions in support of his theory, which is represented by the title
of the book, he goes to the extremes of nonsense.
Why
should they consider woman to be so inferior and worthless an object
one day and then be obliged the next day to make amends for the past and
do away with all deficiencies and defects from the face of woman and
transfer them to the face of man? Why should it be necessary to
interpret the differences between man and woman as an imperfection in
one and perfection in the other, and be obliged, at one time, to take
the side of one and, at another time, to support the other?
On
the one hand, Mr. Montague insists on representing woman a species
superior to man, yet, on other hand, he represents the distinctive
attributes of man as being the result of historical and social factors
and not the result of natural factors.
In
fact, the differences between men and women are a matter of symmetry
and not one of imperfection or perfection. It is the intention of the
law of creation that these differences should be the source of a better
relationship between women and men, who are without doubt created to
live together. To live a single life is contrary to the law of creation.
This point will become clearer during our subsequent discussion in
connection with our clarifications of the differences.
Plato’s theory:
This
matter is not one that has only recently been put out for discussion.
It is at least two thousand four hundred years old, because it was
discussed in the same form in Plato’s Republic.
Plato
claims, in unambiguous terms, that women and men possess similar
capabilities, and that women can carry out all the obligations and
responsibilities which men are charged with, and benefit from all the
rights that men enjoy.
The
origin of all the new ideas which have come up for consideration
concerning woman and, what is more, certain other ideas which people in
the twentieth century have deemed to be excessive and consider
unacceptable are also found in the thoughts of Plato. That these ideas
belong to a man who is called the father of philosophy may look strange
to the reader. Plato in Book V of his Republic,
argued in favour of the State’s control over women and children in
connection with the improvement and the well-being of different
generations, of its depriving some women, and men of their right to
reproduce, and of its allocation of the right to reproduce exclusively
to those who have especially excellent and distinctively superior
qualities.
He
further more urged in favour of the arrangement whereby the education
and training of children was carried on outside the environment of the
family, and of permitting reproduction only in certain years of the
lives of men and women, the age at which they would be most full of
vitality and vigor.
Plato
is of the opinion that women should also be given military training in
exactly the same way as men and that they should also take part in
athletic competitions exactly as men do.
However,
there are two noteworthy points in what Plato said. Firstly, he admits
that women in Physical as well as spiritual and mental powers are weaker
than men, that is, he admits of a difference between women and as
regards quantity, but he does not believe in their being different as
regards the quality of their talents. Plato believes that men and women
an alike in their talents, though, of course, woman is weaker than man
in all respects; but, he asserts, it does not necessarily follow that
men and women have a special ability to do one task rather than another.
Plato
thanks God for his being born a man and not woman especially because he
considers woman to be weaker than man. He says; “ I thank God that I
was born a Greek and not other than Greek, that I came to this world as a
free person and not a slave, and that I was born a man and not a
woman.”
The
other thing is that whatever Plato said in respect of the well-being of
children, their training, the similarity of the make-up of men and
women, and the state’s control on women and children, all of it concerns
the ruling class, that is, philosopher- rulers, whom he considers
specifically worthy to be rulers. As we know, Plato is, in politics,
against democracy and favors an aristocracy. All that Plato said
concerned the aristocratic class, and as far as people out that class
are concerned his views were different.
Aristotle against Plato:
After
Plato, the other figure of the ancient world whose thoughts and
opinions we are acquainted with is Plato’s pupil Aristotle. In his Politics, he
expressed his ideas concerning the differences between women and men,
and vehemently opposed his teacher, Plato. Aristotle believes that the
difference between women and men is not only in the quantity of their
abilities, but also in the quality. He says the nature of the abilities
of woman and man is different, and that the functions which the law of
creation imposes upon each one of them and the rights which have been
designated to them are different in many respects. According to
Aristotle excellence in the morals of men and women are also different
in many respects. A certain behavior may be regarded as a virtue for a
man, and yet may not be commendable for a woman, and in exactly the same
way a certain behavior or comportment may be praise-worthy and
excellent for woman, but not considered worthy of a man.
The
views of Aristotle ousted the views of Plato in the ancient world, and
the thinkers coming after them gave preference to the views of Aristotle
over those of Plato.
The opinion of the modern world:
All
that has been stated above concerns the ancient world. Now we have to
see what the modern world says. The modern world does not rely on mere
guesses and conjectures. Instead, relies on observation and experiment,
on statistics and figures, on the study of the thing itself. In the
light of profound medical psychological and social studies, more and
multifarious differences between women and men have been discovered.
These could not have been discovered by any means in the ancient world.
Those
in the ancient world who used to judge men and women did it simply on
the grounds that one has a large frame and the other a smaller one; one
is more coarse and the other more delicate; one is taller and the other
shorter; one has a stronger voice and the other is soft-speaking; one is
more hairy and the other has a more smooth body. The greatest extent
they went to was to take into account the difference in the time of
puberty, or to look at the differences in intellect and sentiments. Man
was considered a symbol of intellect and woman a symbol of kind and
affectionate feelings.
However,
other kinds of differences have recently been discovered besides these,
and it has been discovered that the worlds of women and men are
different to each other in many respects.
We
shall mention all the differences between women and men which we were
able to gather from the writings of the great scientists, and then we
shall deal with the question as to how many of these differences are
based in nature, and how many are the result of historical, cultural or
social factors. A number of these differences can be listed by anybody
after a little experience and attention, and some of them are so clear
and self-evident as to be impossible to deny.
Reciprocal differences:
Physique:
Man,
normally, is of a larger frame and woman has a smaller body; man is
taller and woman is shorter; man is more coarse and woman is more
delicate; man has a stronger voice and is harsh in his tone, while woman
is more soft speaking and more melodious in her voice; the development
of a woman’s body takes place sooner than the development of man’s body
to the extent that it is universally said that the fetus of a girl
develops sooner than that of a boy. The muscular development and
strength of a man’s body is greater than that of a woman. A woman’s
power of resistance to many diseases is greater than a man’s. Woman
reaches the age of puberty earlier than man, and also becomes
unproductive sooner as regards the reproduction powers. A girl starts
speaking earlier than a boy. The normal brain of a man is larger than
the normal brain of a woman, but with attention to the proportional size
of their bodies, the brain of a woman is larger than that of a man. The
lungs of a man have the capacity to inhale more air than the lungs of a
woman. A woman’s heartbeat is quicker than a man’s.
Psychology:
Man
has a greater preference for physical exercise, hunting, tasks
involving movement, than a woman. The sentiments of man are challenging
and war-like, while the sentiments of woman are peaceable and convivial.
Man is more aggressive and quarrelsome, and woman is more quiet and
more calm. A woman refrains from taking drastic action, both with regard
to others and with regard to herself, and this is the reason for the
smaller number of suicides in women than in man. In a mood for suicide,
man will take a hastier course in comparison with woman. Men will use a
gun, hang themselves, shoot themselves, or jump from the top of a lofty
building, while women tend to use sleeping pills, poison, and so forth,
in such a crisis.
The
feelings of woman are aroused quicker than a man’s. Her sentiments are
excited sooner than those of man; that is, a woman, in matters with
which she is involved or of which she is afraid reacts sooner and with
more acuteness just as she feels, while a man is more cool headed. A
woman is naturally more disposed than a man towards decoration,
ornaments, beautification, adornment and dress. The feelings of woman
are more transient than those of man.
Woman
is more cautious, more religious, more talkative, more timid and more
formal than man. The feelings of a woman are motherly and these feelings
are clearly visible in her childhood. Woman is more concerned with the
family, and her attention is subconsciously directed more than man
towards the importance of a home. In activities based on reasoning, and
in abstruse intellectual problems, woman cannot equal man but in
literature, painting and all matters that are related to aesthetics, she
is not behind man.
Man
has more ability to keep a secret than woman and he keeps unpleasant
private matters to himself better than a woman. This is the reason why
men are victims to some psychological illnesses more than women. These
illnesses develop as a result of his keeping his confidences to himself.
Woman is more soft-hearted, and instantly resorts to weeping, and
occasionally to fainting.
Feeling towards each other:
Man
is the slave of his own passions and woman holds herself fast in the
love of man. A man loves a woman, because he has admired her or chosen
her while a woman loves a man because she has perceived his worth or has
previously made an avowal of her sincerity. Man wants to take
possession of the person of the woman and to wield power over her, and
woman wants to conquer the heart of man and prevail upon him through his
heart. Man wants to master woman through her head, and woman wants to
influence man through his heart. Man has a desire to embrace woman and
woman has a desire to be embraced. Woman desires to see bravery and
courage in man and man wants to see elegance and charm in woman. Woman
considers the support of a man the most valuable thing for her. Woman is
able to control her sexual drive more than man. The sexual drive of man
is aggressive and that of woman passive and inciting.
The differences between woman and man 2
In issue no.90 of Zan-e ruz,
the view of an eminent American Professor of psychology Prof. Reek (?),
was published. For many years, he had been making investigations and
conducting research into the conditions of woman and man and he had
arrived at certain concrete conclusions; he listed a lot of differences
between woman and man in a voluminous book.
This
professor says that the world of man is totally different from the
world of woman. If a woman cannot think like a man or act like a man,
this is because the worlds of both are different. He observed that in
the Old Testament it is mentioned that ‘Man and woman have come into
being from one flesh’. Yes, no doubt both have come into being from one
flesh, but they have dissimilar bodies, and, taken as a whole, are
different from each other.
Moreover,
the feelings of these two beings can never be alike, and their
reactions to events and circumstances will never be the same. Man and
woman take different actions according to and consistent with, their
true sexual dispositions, and just like two planets they revolve in
their two different orbits. They can have understanding between each
other and be completely at one but they can never be one. This is the
reason why man and woman can live together, love each other and not get
tired and bored with their particular and distinctive qualities and
behaviors.
Prof.
Reek made a comparative study of the mentalities of men and women and
pointed out a number of differences. Among others, he said that it is
boring for a man to be always in the company of the woman he loves,
whereas nothing is more pleasant for a woman than to live by the side of
a man she loves. Man , in his heart, wishes to remain always in the
same state day after day, while a woman always wants to have a new being
and to rise every morning from bed with a new look. The best words that
a man can say to a woman are: “My dear. I love you” and the most
beautiful words that a woman can say to the man she loves are: “I am
proud of you”. If a man has had relations with several lovers during his
life, that man is considered attractive in the eyes of other women.
On
the other hand, a woman who has had relations with more than one man is
disliked by men. When they are old men have a feeling of unhappiness
because they miss their main support in life, that is, their work, but
old women on the contrary feel satisfied because they have the best
thing in front of their eyes, namely a home and some grand-children. In
the eyes, of men, a successful life means to be regarded as a
respectable personality in public, while in the eyes of a woman success
means to win the heart of one man, and to hold and sustain it for the
whole, of her life. A man always likes to convert his spouse to his
opinions and nationality, while for a woman after marriage to change her
beliefs and nationality to that of the man she loves is as easy as
changing her family name.
The masterpiece of creation:
Apart
from the controversy as to whether the dissimilarities between men and
women necessarily cause differences in their rights and duties
concerning household matters, this phenomenon is basically one of the
most amazing masterpieces of creation, and is a lesson in the Unity of
God and in knowledge of Him, a sign and an indication of the wise and
efficient order of the universe and clear evidence for proof of the fact
that the process of creation is not based upon mere chance— nature does
not go through its processes blindly, as if in the dark. It is an
enlightening proof of the reality that the phenomena of the universe
cannot be explained without invoking the fundamental principle of a
final cause.
So
as to arrive at its own goal and to preserve its nature the gigantic
apparatus of creation has brought into being the great device of
reproduction. From its own workshop, females of the same species and
males of the same species are continuously brought into existence.
Since, in order to maintain and prolong the existence of the subsequent
generations, the cooperation of the two sexes, especially in the human
species, is required, and so as to persuade these two sexes to help each
other in this work, the foundation of their union and unity was laid.
It has been arranged in such a way that self-assertion and the seeking
of ones own interest, which is natural in every living being is
transformed into service, cooperation, forbearance and self-denial.
The
two sexes are made with the desire to live together; and to make the
plan completely practical, remarkable physical and mental differences
are established between them, so that their bodies and souls can be
better united. These differences are the source of mutual attraction,
and are designed so that the male and female should feel love for each
other. If woman had had the body, spirit, manners and behavior of a man,
it would have been impossible for her to attract man towards herself,
and make him eager to become united with her. Likewise, if man had all
the physical and mental attributes of a woman, it would have been
impossible for woman to regard him as the hero of her life, and consider
that her highest art is to hunt and conquer his heart. Man is born to
conquer the world, and woman to conquer man.
The
law of creation has constituted and built man and woman according to
such a pattern that they are attached to and seek each other, but not in
the way in which they are attracted to other things. The interest that a
human being has in other things arises from his self-interest, in other
words, a human being wants things for himself. He sees them as a means;
he wants to sacrifice them for himself and for his comforts. But the
attachment of a husband and a wife is in such a way that each of then
wishes the will-being and comfort of the other, and is happy in
forbearance and self-denial for the sake of the other.
A union stronger than passion:
It
is strange that some people cannot distinguish between ‘passion’ and
‘affection’. Such people think that the only factor which can unite a
couple is desire and passion, the motive of taking advantage, of
benefiting, the same sort of interest that a person has in food, drink,
clothes and cars. They do not know that besides selfishness and the
desire to exploit, there are other interests who are innate and natural.
These interests do not have their roots in self-interest. The source of
such attachments is exactly the reverse of what they think. These
relations have their source in self-denial, forbearance and a preference
of discomfort for oneself so as to ensure the comfort of the other.
These are the relationships which reveal the humanity of human beings.
Indeed, some of these sentiments are observed, as far as the couple and
their offspring are concerned, even in animals.
These
persons imagine that a man has always looked and still looks towards a
woman in the same way as a young westerner looks at street-walker, as if
it is only passion which could unite the two of them. As a matter of
fact, the union which constitutes the basis of the unity of the husband
and the wife is greater than passion. It is the same thing which the
holy Qur’an mentions with the name of “mawaddah” (love) and “rahmat”
(mercy).
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
And
of His signs is that He created for you, of yourselves, spouses that
you might repose in them, and He has set between you love and mercy.
Surely in that are signs for a people who consider. (Qur’an, 30:21)
How
fallacious it is to explain the history of the relations of man and
woman thinking only of the idea of profiting and exploiting, and, as it
was previously mentioned, basing this on the struggle for survival. We
have already referred to how much nonsense has been written about this.
When
I read some of their writings and their elucidations of the history of
the relations of man and woman, I find that the only principle these
people employ is that of contrast. They suppose that men and women are
two different classes of society which have always been in conflict and
at war with each other. Truly, it is all amazing for me, and I deplore
their lack of reason and judgment. If they can account for the history
of the relations of fathers and their children in terms of profit and
exploitation, they can also interpret the history of wives and husbands
in the light of that point of view. It is true that man is stronger than
woman, but the law of creation has so constituted man instinctively
that he could not perpetrate on his wife the atrocities which he has
inflicted or his slaves, serfs, inferiors and even his neighbors, just
as he could not practice that sort of cruelty with his own sons and
daughters.
I
do not deny the cruelties of men towards women, but refuse to accept
the interpretation that is put forth concerning those cruelties,
throughout history, men have inflicted a great many cruelties on women,
but the motivation for these cruelties was the same as that which caused
them to be cruel to their children, in spite of their great concern for
them, their careers and their welfare. These were, of course, the very
things which caused them to be cruel to themselves as well, and the root
cause was ignorance, fanaticism and traditionalism, but not the will to
exploit. If I get time, I will give a detailed exposition regarding the
history of the relations of men and women at an opportune occasion.
Reciprocal differences in the feelings of men and women towards each other:
Man
and woman do not differ from each other only in their outlook towards
matters of family life, the very way in which, they are attached to each
other is different. To be more clear the nature of the attachment of
man to woman is not the same as the nature of the attachment of woman to
man. Despite of the fact that attraction is mutual, still, unlike
inanimate bodies, the smaller body attracts the bigger body towards
itself. Creation has designed man as a symbol of searching, loving and
demanding, and woman as a symbol of love and attraction. The sentiments
of man are characterized by asking, and the sentiments of woman are
towards demureness; the sentiments of man are to seek, while the
sentiments of woman are to be sought.
Quite
recently the photograph of a young Russian girl who had committed
suicide appeared in one of our daily newspapers. The girl had written on
the paper which she had left behind: ‘Up to this time no man has kissed
me, and life is unbearable for me’.
This
was the cause of a great defeat for a girl, that she had not been loved
by a man or kissed by him; but which young man would he disappointed
from life if a girl had not kissed him, or if he had not kissed a girl?
In
his detailed and comprehensive discussion, Will Durant says that if the
criterion of the preference for, or worth of, a girl were learning and
intellectual achievements, and not natural charm and subliminal
cleverness, girls with lesser academic achievements would not have been
very successful in finding husbands. The true position, however, is that
sixty per cent of university women are without husbands. He says that
Sonia Kovalevsky, a distinguished scientist, complained that no one
would marry her. “Why can no one love me? I could give more than most
women, and yet the most insignificant women are loved and I am not” (The Pleasures of Philosophy, p.136)
Please
note that the nature of the feelings of disappointment of this lady is
different from what the disappointment of a man would be. She says: “Why
does nobody want me?”.
In
the affair of finding a wife, a man feels defeat when he is unable to
get the woman he loves, or if he gets her and is unable to keep her
under control.
All
these matters have a philosophy behind them: a stronger and deeper bond
of attraction and unity. And why this attraction? Is it so that men and
women can get more pleasure out of life? No, not just that; rather it
is the foundation of human society and the structure of the maintaining
and training of the coming generation which is laid on that base.
The view of a female psychologist
In issue no.101 of Zan-e ruz,
the opinion of a female psychologist, Cleo Dalsun was quoted. This lady
says that in so far as she is a woman psychologist, she is keenly
interested in the study of the mentality of me. In recent past, she
says, she was commissioned to research into the psychological factors in
women and men and she came to the following conclusions:
1.
All women like to work under somebody else. In other words, they prefer
to work as a subordinate under the supervision of some superior.
2. All women want to feel that their existence creates, and is a matter of need.
After
that this lady mentions her own opinion. She says that she believes
these two desires of women have their root in the fact that women are
under the commands of their feelings, whereas men follow their reason.
It has been observed very often she goes on, that women are not only
equal to men as far as intelligence is concerned, but are sometimes
better than them. The only weak point in women is the intensity of their
feelings. Men always think in more practical ways, arrive at better
conclusions, are better organizers and give better instructions. So the
mental superiority of men over women, she reasons, is something which is
planned by nature.
However
much women may fight against this matter of fact, it will prove
fruitless. Because they are more sensitive than men, women should accept
the reality that they need the supervision of men their life. The most
important aim in the life of woman is security, and when she succeeds in
fulfilling her aim, she ceases to be active. A woman is afraid of
facing the dangers involved in achieving her aim. Fear is the only
feeling which they need help in order to dispel. Those tasks which
require continued mental effort make women bored and tired.
A hasty movement:
The
movement that was started in Europe to restore the suppressed rights of
women took place haphazardly and in a great hurry because they were
very late in starling it. Feelings did not let reason speak and be taken
as their guide, and that was how everything good and bad was washed
away in one wave. This movement helped woman out of many misfortunes,
gave her many rights, and opened closed doors for her, but, in exchange,
it created a lot of other misfortunes and miseries for her and for
human society in general.
No
doubt, if these matters had not been taken up hurriedly, the
restoration of women rights would have taken a far better course. In
that case the wailings of wise people against the present unpleasant
situation and the even more horrendous future would not have reached the
skies. Anyhow, there is still hope that knowledge and reason may
prevail, and the feminist movement, instead of being led, as before, by
feelings, will listen to the advice of knowledge and reason. The fact
that the distinguished thinkers of Europe have given expression to their
views on this matter is by itself a sign of hope in this direction. It
can be seen that concerning the relations of men and women, the people
of the west are themselves fed up and bored with their own behavior, the
very same behavior with which the imitators of the west have recently
become intoxicated.
The view of Will Durant:
In part four of his book The Pleasures of Philosophy,
Will Durant has made a very detailed and comprehensive analysis of the
problem of sex and the family. We shall make a short selection of
certain parts of that book for our readers so that they may have an idea
of the way of thinking of western scholars and abstain from passing
hasty judgments.
Under the heading of “Love” Will Durant writes:
“It is at puberty that love sings its first clear song. Literally puberty means the age of hair — the sprouting of vegetation on the male, particularly hair on the chest, of which he is barbarically proud, and hair on the face and chin, which he removes with the patience of Sisypus. The quality and abundance of the hair seem to rise and fall (other things equal) with the cycle of reproductive power, and are at their best at the acme of vitality. This sudden foliage along with the deepening of the voice, is among the “secondary sexual characters” that come to the male at puberty; while to the blossoming girl nature brings the softened contours that will lure the eye, the widened pelvis that will facilitate maternity, and the filled out breast that is used to nurse the child.
“It is at puberty that love sings its first clear song. Literally puberty means the age of hair — the sprouting of vegetation on the male, particularly hair on the chest, of which he is barbarically proud, and hair on the face and chin, which he removes with the patience of Sisypus. The quality and abundance of the hair seem to rise and fall (other things equal) with the cycle of reproductive power, and are at their best at the acme of vitality. This sudden foliage along with the deepening of the voice, is among the “secondary sexual characters” that come to the male at puberty; while to the blossoming girl nature brings the softened contours that will lure the eye, the widened pelvis that will facilitate maternity, and the filled out breast that is used to nurse the child.
‘What
causes these secondary characteristics ? No one knows, but professor
Starling has found favour for his theory that when puberty comes, the
reproductive cells begin to produce not merely ova and sperms, but
certain “hormones” which pass into the blood and cause a physical and
psychical transformation. It is not only the body that is now endowed
with new powers; the mind and character are affected in a thousand ways.
‘There are in life,’ said Romaine Rolland, ‘certain ages during which
there takes place a silently working change in a man’ - or in a woman.
This is the most important of them all. New feelings flood the body and
the soul; curiosity drives the mind forward, and modesty holds it back.’
(pp. 107-108)
“‘All
men,’ says de Muset ‘are liars, traitors, babblers, hypocrites,
strutters; all women are vain, artificial, and perfidious; …but there is
in the world one thing holy and sublime and that is the union of these
two imperfect beings.’” (ibid., p. 110)
“In,
adults the ritual of courtship is acquisitive advance by the male and
seductive retreat by the female. There are exceptions here and there…
Usually the male takes the positive and aggressive role, because he is
by nature the fighter and the beast of prey; the woman is to him a prize
which he must conquer and possess. All courtship is combat, and all
mating is mastery.”(ibid. p.111)
“The
superior modesty of woman obviously subserves the purposes of
reproduction. Her coy retreat is an aid to sexual selection; it enables
her to choose with greater discrimination the lover who shall be
privileged to be the father of her children. The interest of the race
and the group speak through her, as the interests of the individual find
their strident voice in man . . . Woman is cleverer than man in love
because, normally, her desire is less intense and does not obscure her
judgment.” (ibid, p. 117)
“Darwin
considered the female of most species to be comparatively indifferent
to, love; Lombroso, Kisch, Krafft-Ebing… will have us believe…. that ….
(it) is not physical delight that woman seek, so much as an
indiscriminate admiration and a lavish attention to her wants and in
many cases the sheer pleasure of being desired contents her . . . ‘Love
in woman’, says Lombroso ‘is in its fundamental nature no more than a
secondary character of motherhood, and all the feelings of affection
that bind woman to man arise not from sexual impulses, but from the
instincts — acquired by adaptation — of subordination and self-surrender
(ibid., pp, l17-118)
In
the chapter gathered together under the title “Men and Women”, Will
Durant writes “The function of the woman is to serve the species, and
the function of the man is to serve the woman and the child. They may
have other functions also, but wisely subordinate to these; it is in
these fundamental and half unconscious purposes that nature has placed
our significance and our happiness.... The woman’s nature is to seek
shelter rather than war; and in some species the female seems quite
without the instinct of pugnacity. When she fights directly it is for
her children.” (ibid. p.119)
“She
is more patient than man; and though he has more courage in the larger
issues and crises of life, she abounds in diurnal and perennial
fortitude for facing the smaller and endless irritations of existence…..
But woman is pugnacious vicariously. She goes for a soldier and
delights in a masterful man; some strange masochistic element in her
thrills at the sight of strength, even when its victim is herself.” (ibid. pp 119-120)
“Occasionally
this ancient joy in virility overrides her more recent economic sense,
and she will marry a fool if he is brave. She submits gladly to a man
who can command; if she seems less submissive in our days it is because
men have less force of character than before….
“Woman’s
interests are familiar, and normally her environment is the home; she
is as deep as nature and as narrow us four walls. Instincts adapt her to
the traditional and she loves the traditional as any expert loves the
sphere which reveals his excellence. She is less experimental in mind
and morals (barring certain metropolitan exceptions); if she resorts to
‘free love’ it is not because the finds freedom in it, but because she
despairs of achieving normal marriage with a responsible male. How
gladly she would draw the man closer to her and absorb him into the
home! Even if, in younger years, she thrilled to the shibboleths of
political reform, and spread her affection thin over all humanity, she
withdraws these tentatives when she finds an honest mate; rapidly she
weans him and herself from this universal devotion and teaches him an
intense and limited loyalty to the family. ‘I would give the world for
you,’ the youth says in courtship’s ecstasy; and when he marries he
does.
“It
is just as well. The woman knows, without needing to think of it, that
the only sound reforms begin at home; she serves as agent for the race
when she transforms the wandering idealist into her children’s devotee.
Nature cares little about laws and states, her passion is for the family
and the child; if she can preserve these she is indifferent to
governments and dynasties, and smiles at those who busy themselves with
transforming constitutions. If nature seems now to fail in this task of
protecting the family and the child it is because woman has for the
while forgotten nature. But it will not be long defeated; she can at any
time fall back upon a hundred reserve expedients; there are other races
and other peoples, greater in number and extent than ourselves, through
whom she can maintain her resolute and indiscriminate continuity” (ibid., pp.120, 124, 125)
This
has been a short selection, of the statements of distinguished
thinkers, about the differences between women and men, and their views
in this connection.
I
had intended to discuss, under the heading of ‘The Secret of
Differences’, how far historical and social factors have been effective
in bringing about these differences. Anyway, I dropped the idea of a
comprehensive discussion of this matter, so as to abstain from enlarging
the scope of the subject matter. I hope this matter will become
completely clear in the course of future chapters.
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